Being judged

Being judged is just a part of life, everyone gets judged and everyone judges, but most likely those judgements are incorrect.

One of the many things Jennifer has taught us is that you really can’t judge a book by its cover…….

Easier said than done?

Lately I’ve come across over opinionated people, random strangers in fact that feel the need to give me their opinion.

We just swapped cars, from a Grand Vitara to a Touran. It is the same year (2006) and  driven very similar kilometers, (63000km) so I hope it’s as reliable as the Grand Vitara!! I bought it in Porsgrunn and thought it would be a good time for Emma and I to have some alone time.


We took the bus to Bergen and hopped off around Nesttun,  where I thought we’d take a taxi to the airport hotel as the plane left early the next morning.

I was on the phone to the taxi, we were standing outside, it was a few below freezing but it was dry and wasn’t windy. Emma was standing next to the window of the shop, me just around the corner, cigarette in one hand, phone in the other.

Some random lady decided to ask an over excited Emma;

“you poor little girl, are you freezing? Look at your daddy smoking while you’re freezing!”

Emma took one step towards her, and before even I could open my mouth she shouted back at the lady;

“I’m not freezing! We’re waiting for a taxiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!”

I just smiled……

The look on the lady’s face as she quickly disappeared into the shop, humiliated in front of 10 or so onlookers!

That’s not like Emma, she’s usually pretty shy, I’ve only ever seen her talk like that once before when a waiter told her to eat the rest of her dinner, she then turned and shouted;

“I’m full”

That waiter had it coming anyway.

Sometimes it’s better to say nothing at all.

Romantic dinner!
Romantic dinner!

I’m glad Emma got in first, cause there’s been numerous occasions lately where something like that has happened to me, like I’ve got some kinda stamp on my forehead saying;

“Please tell me what you think!”

But Jennifer has taught us that things are not always what they appear to be on the surface.

I have no idea why that lady decided to say that, maybe she had good reason, I’ll never know and I really can’t judge her because I just don’t know.

On the other hand, did she know what we were doing and why we were doing it?

Sure, in that actual moment…..

But did she know that we sold a perfectly good car to buy a car we could fit Jennifer’s oversize pram in, did she know that this was the only car of that type we could afford and the lengths we were going to get it?


What we’d been through the last year and a bit and how we’ve had to re-evaluate our whole lives, our way of living, and what really needs to be done so that Odrun and I don’t burn out???


We’ve all seen the disabled person, the homeless person, the person full of tattoos or the drug user on the street.

And what did we think?

Sun rising over the mountains
Sun rising over the mountains

Did we think for one moment that the guy driving his wheelchair with one hand while the other hand was hanging lifeless near his anorexic legs was just as unlucky as Jennifer, his head unable to turn and his jaw as stiff as a board making it hard to talk, did we ever think that guy could turn around and say thankyou while you held the elevator open for him?

The homeless person, did we ever think why that guy was homeless, maybe he lost his whole family, maybe his world fell apart afterwards and maybe he just didn’t have the strength to pick himself back up.

The drug user that was abused as a child but there was never anyone to help him, and the only option he had was to escape the never-ending nightmare that was his life.

The person with the tattoos and piercings, that maybe they’re a better person than some of your closest friends??!

The person who walks into the shops but parks in the disabled spot, that maybe parking there makes his life just a little easier because it takes him hours to put his clothes on and get himself out the front door.

550km takes 10 hours to drive in Norway, we stopped a few times and Emma did what we all would have, slept!
550km takes 10 hours to drive in Norway, we stopped a few times and Emma did what we all would have, slept!

A year ago we judged the people that saw us in the shops, but turned and pretended they didn’t, we judged the overopinionated doctors and judged the health system.

Jennifer’s taught us otherwise, and for that I’m truly gratefull!

Like everyone else, all we’re trying to do is make our life easier, we just have different priorities.

First impressions often leave a lasting inprint, but if we don’t understand what we’re seeing, why judge?


One thought on “Being judged

  1. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. You are so right, strangers are always quick to judge with complete certainty those whom they really don’t know anything about. Anyway, I just stumbled across your blog and wanted to say what a cute couple of kids you have! It’s great reading your story and your insights – keep blogging! And if you’re interested, I have found the website Cerebral Palsy Family Network to be really helpful. Anything to make things a little easier when you have a special needs child helps, right? Anyway, check it out, hope you find it helpful! Good luck to you all!


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