We may have to two children but I sometimes refer to Emma as an only child. Sometimes that gets me in trouble, sometimes I get ignored and sometimes I get an utter look of disgust….
Just because I refer to my child in any such way, doesn’t mean I love or respect them any less.
Jennifer’s level of care grows monthly, and so does the independence of a girl older than her years in birthdays may suggest.
An independence untoward, you’ll read this one day Emma, you’ll know what I mean.
We want nothing more than for you to have a healthy sibling, one you can run and play with, one you can play hide and seek with, one you can grow up with, share clothes and secrets and stories about boys….
I try my best to be your big brother, your friend and your dad…. We try our best to give you what’s missing, but we can’t be your sibling.
I know that we’ve succeeded in making your life balanced, you’ve never been happier, more creative, more confident, more outgoing and self assured.
You make friends so easy!
You have a foundation mum and I are proud of and I quote;
“It’s more important to be nice than pretty”
“It doesn’t matter if you don’t get it the first time, you just need to practice and you’ll get it eventually”
The thing about learning is that it’s a process, and the harder it gets the more important the process becomes. You’ve convinced me more than ever that you have the ability to handle tough learning processes…
I hope some of the choices we’ve made have influenced you.
I know it hurts when Jennifer cries, I know it annoys you and I understand why you go to room. I do it too.
You’re not being mean, you’re being tolerant.
Of any of the pain, it pains me most to know that you will grow up misunderstood and judged for being the sister of severely disabled sibling.
These are just misunderstandings of those who still don’t understand that they themselves have not the faintest clue of what goes on in our lives! Yet they think they have all the answers…
It used to hurt me to think what has already been said, what has already been thought and which labels have already been placed on you.
You’re victim of circumstances, not so different from your sister….
But you don’t need mum or I to tell you that….
You’ll grow up with values much more important to this world than that of the average person, much more important than any other lesson your Mum and I could ever teach you.
You have patience, understanding and a knowledge of what makes humans work.
I used to worry about you, your childhood and your future, I don’t anymore.
The Australian in you never gives up, never takes a backwards step, the Norwegian in you teaches you equality with freedom of speech.
They’re great traits going forward Emma, never loose sight of them!
And that’s why you never should worry….
You’ll be fine, you always have been!